THE VOICES I HEARD
By Martha © 1996
Excerpts Taken From The Voices I Heard
Book Found In How To Cope Books Section
Chapter 1 CALLED AND CHOSEN
It seems that when GOD looks down upon the earth, and the time has come for Him to do a work, His seven Spirits before the throne of GOD are sent into the world to wander to and fro upon the earth until they find acceptable sacrifices, acceptable servants, that can be procured for heaven. Now, sometimes it is beforehand determined, like John the Baptist, being beforehand filled in his mother’s womb with the Spirit of GOD and brought into this world for a purpose in GOD’s Kingdom. John the Baptist is of an election, and was pre elected and fore-ordained unto a work, a specific work and purpose. And then we have the free-will, like Paul, the Apostle, who was called and anointed by GOD to be an Apostle unto the Gentiles and to take the gospel of Christ to the Gentiles. For the Apostle Paul was not filled with the Spirit from the womb, he having need of conversion. John the Baptist, having no need of conversion, was born already in the hand of GOD and formed for His purpose, having an understanding of GOD’s will from birth. Yet, like as CHRIST JESUS, being filled with the Spirit from the womb, choosing to do the will of GOD always, John had also a free-will and could have turned from GOD, and not fulfill the work GOD had elected him to do, though born an elect in the Kingdom of GOD. All flesh born is born with a free-will to choose to do GOD’s will or reject it, both the elect and the free-will. Being an elect does not set aside the free-will that is born in all flesh, but all the more challenges it unto obedience, the elect from birth knowing nothing except the challenge of the Holy Spirit unto perfect obedience, of the which the free-will only come into this challenge of the Holy Spirit after conversion.
Many believers in CHRIST JESUS know their conversions, and how it took place, and when, and under what circumstances, and they are called unto salvation, yet are of the free-will calling, of whosoever hears the gospel and desires to believe and be saved, GOD will save. Yet, there is an election, a chosen elect, filled in the womb to come forth to do a work for the Kingdom of GOD, and they know not their days of conversion, for they did always believe, many even knowing not why they believe, yet have they always been believers in Christ, from the cradle and from young children, seeking, asking, knocking, following, hungering, thirsting, being led by the Holy Spirit into the knowledge of what GOD desires them to do, always looking up, always seeking the Word and the Spirit and always, all their lifetimes, knowing that the Spirit of GOD was pouring Himself out upon them opening their spirits and their hearts and their minds, to hear His voice. And their understandings unfold in their hearts and minds as they are led and guided throughout their young lives, and as they understand, they grow more and more in those understandings of the purpose and calling and election into which they were born, day by day and week by week and month by month and year by year, precept upon precept, learning and understanding the will of GOD, and understanding GOD, Himself. And as they walk in this world, the golden strand of GOD’s Spirit is leading and guiding them, and if they stray, seeks them out and brings them back again and even again, and if necessary, out of the bellies of the whales, keeping them in His divine will and purpose and plan. Some come to know His purpose and will through judgments, and some through His love, and some through His Word and Spirit, and some from all of these things, and some, being difficult, bring unto themselves great chastisements and scourgings till they learn to abide in perfect obedience to His voice.
In the last days, it is written, GOD is pouring out His Spirit upon all flesh. GOD is calling His elect from one end of heaven to the other, and GOD is calling all flesh, raining down upon all flesh, calling all in the earth, unto salvation, unto repentance, for the time for all things to be accomplished is at hand. GOD is calling His election together for the final work to be done in the earth, the fulfilling of Revelation. The Holy Spirit has been faithfully preparing this election, and unknown to the world, is His finest hour upon it coming swiftly as the dawning of a new day, and also a new heavens and earth wherein dwells only righteousness.
Now, I can only speak for myself, and how the Lord has been calling me, and anointing me, and teaching me, and guiding me, and leading me, and instructing me, and yes, scourging, and disciplining, and pruning and oft times, putting me into gardens like Gethsemane, to cause me to say, Not my will, Father, but thine be done. For obediences are hard, causing separations from family, friends, brethren, and others, and obediences are narrow, oft times so narrow only I am called to do them, and obediences are difficult, my having to learn what to do, and where to go, and how to do what I have heard to do, and even, when to do it, and obediences are painful, painful to myself, and friends, and brethren, and family, oh so painful to my family, and obediences are sorrowful, often one being accused of doing evil while being obedient to the voice of Christ, and obediences are often backbreaking, causing a weariness that never seems to cease from morning to night and night to morning, and obediences are spirit crushing, one feeling so alone and forsaken and without friends that understand the deep things of GOD and the Holy Spirit, and obediences are often cruel and bring words like, ‘You have a devil’, and ‘You have heard the devil’, and ‘You need to be careful who you are listening to’, and the devil’s favorite, ‘God didn’t say that. You’ve been deceived’. And obediences are soul wrenching, daily and hourly deepening and widening the body, soul and spirit, and heart and mind, and even the flesh, unto an almost unbearable sanctification and a setting apart, and obediences are tearful, for as things of the flesh and the world so easily attach and re-attach themselves into my life, they are torn and ripped away and taken away by the Holy Spirit again, and again, that I might stay separated unto Him and His purposed works for me, for Him.
Sometimes I am without understanding, being in darkness, hoping in the light, waiting for the light, and abiding without direction till the vine travels on and pulls me along with it. And the vine travels through the deserts, and over mountains, and even crawls the bottoms of the oceans, and in storms and sunshine, it keeps traveling on and growing and fruiting, and seeding, and crawls over rocks, and under rocks, and around obstacles and gets cuts and bleedings, and tarries at times to lick its own wounds and recover, and . . . . . . . . . . the vine has losses, and sometimes those losses are not recovered, but are lost, and sometimes the vine cannot find a pathway through a mountain, and with a teaspoon and sometimes even, a fork, must level a mountain, or pick a hole through it to travel on. And sometimes the vine itself is so laden down with uncleansed fruits, and rotten blossoms, it must prune its own self to release the vine and the pure fruit that is upon it, that it can continue on. And often, the vine loses precious, pure, ripened and fruiting fruit, to martyrdom, losing servants to death at the hands of wickedness and forces of evil. Even those who are sleeping in death, having given their lives for the truth, shall the vine attach again to Himself as He gathers all His fruits in the ending of it all. As the Apostle Paul said, Whether we live or sleep in death, we are the LORD’s.
Now, a prophet called of GOD, all throughout the holy scriptures, was nurtured and taught by GOD’s Spirit, Himself, and every prophet called of GOD is a branch of the vine, bearing true fruits of the scriptures, and the heart and purposes of GOD, not adding to His WORD, but in agreement with His WORD, speaking to the world, the words of GOD Himself. GOD’s heart and GOD’s purposes have always been from the beginning to the ending, righteousness. And every prophet of GOD is a fire against wickedness and a nurturer of righteous souls, and is hated in this world, hated in the churches, and hated amongst the brethren, and is without honour in his own house and in his own country.
Jesus said . . . .Matt. 8:11 And I say unto you, That many shall come from the east and west, and shall sit down with Abraham, and Isaac, and Jacob, in the kingdom of heaven. 12 But the children of the kingdom shall be cast out into outer darkness: there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth.
And again Jesus said . . .Matt. 22:31 But as touching the resurrection of the dead, have ye not read that which was spoken unto you by God, saying, 32 I am the God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob? God is not the God of the dead, but of the living.
And again Jesus said ....Luke 13:28 There shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth, when ye shall see Abraham, and Isaac, and Jacob, and all the prophets, in the kingdom of God, and you yourselves thrust out. 29 And they shall come from the east, and from the west, and from the north, and from the south and shall sit down in the kingdom of God.
And again is it written . . .Luke 20:37 Now that the dead are raised, even Moses showed at the bush, when he calleth the Lord the God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob. 38 For he is not a God of the dead, but of the living: for all live unto him.
Now, GOD speaks to the living. GOD is a GOD of the living, and speaks to the living, now, today, yesterday, forever, the same. GOD is a GOD of the living, not the dead. He is a voice. He speaks, now, today, to you, to me, to all flesh living. There shall come a time when all flesh living and dead shall hear His voice, and they shall rise from death, all flesh born since the foundations of the world, rise from death, and they shall live again, and shall hear His voice, and all shall live unto Him in that day. GOD is a GOD of the living, not the dead. The dead need no GOD and are in their appointed places awaiting the resurrection, and they shall all be raised from the dead, every soul ever born. We, the living need GOD, and need to listen, and to hear, and to understand, lest we perish in ignorance of His righteousness. GOD shall speak to the dead, and shall raise all the dead, and shall send all souls into their eternal places, some to damnation, and some to salvation, but GOD is a GOD of the living, that the living need not perish but be brought into the knowledge of His glorious salvation that was wrought in His only Son, Jesus Christ. GOD is a voice that spoke to Isaac, a voice that spoke to Jacob, a voice that spoke to Abraham, and those that hear His voice shall open up the door, and He shall come in, and sup with them. These therefore, are the living, those that hear His voice, and open the door. Rev. 3:20 Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.
Chapter 8 The Burden Of The Voice
We do not come to know the voice of GOD in a moment of time. We do not come to know Him in a moment of time. We must always ask, seek, knock, and know that the scriptures do not lie, that when we ask, we receive, and when we knock, He opens up the door, and when we seek, He shall be found.
Let me relate a story to you that is a true story. There was a great outpouring of the Holy Spirit in the years of 1967 and 68, and my husband and I sold our landscaping business and established a forty four bed mission in Bonita Springs, Florida, in the year of 1968, and some might recall, that in that year thousands upon thousands of our young people were running the highways of this nation, and they were called Jesus people, establishing houses all over the country, Jesus Houses, mostly sought out by young people caught in the sins of their youth, being persecuted and called all manners of evil things, and to this day, many of those youth have died, and many are still in the drug houses and places that are infected with all manners of maladies and sins and death and sicknesses and diseases, they never having escaped as many of those did who found the Jesus houses, becoming saved and filled with the Holy Spirit. Our house was called, The Master’s Outpost, and ministered to 6000 people a year, coming and going, and finding refuge, and this story is concerning a particular young man that had come to the mission.
His name was Rudy. He was a long time alcoholic, in and out of over 350 jails in America, and he was always sitting upon the fence concerning receiving the Lord Jesus Christ as his Saviour, he having come and gone from the mission many times, coming back to seek a shelter, and abiding for awhile, listening to the music and the scriptures, seemingly loving even, the atmosphere, the love, the Spirit, and the morning Bible studies and evening worship gatherings. And then off again with a tormented spirit and lust for alcohol, even chasing those sins and passions that are set aflame by alcohol and drugs.
There was also at the mission a young Christian girl, overweight, very, very overweight, a virgin, named Kathy, and Rudy swept this young girl off her feet, right into the kingdom of darkness and sin, and they did marry, yet did Rudy continue to drink and even beat her, and she often came back to the mission, bruised, and in tears, unable to leave him, for the love of him as well as for the love of Christ, she having need to simply stay with him in the hopes of his salvation. This story has everything to do with the voice of the LORD that leads, guides and comforts His children. I remember well the day we sat upon my bed at the mission, one of many days, Kathy weeping concerning Rudy, and my comforting her with the WORD of the LORD to her. I said, Kathy, I see a vision of Rudy in a burning lake of fire. I also see the nail pierced hands of the LORD Jesus Christ reaching down from heaven, lifting Rudy from the lake of fire, grasping Rudy’s wrists as he is crying out, and lifting him to heaven. Be comforted. Jesus will save him, even if at death.
She left the mission, committed to stay with Rudy. It was many, many years later when a call came into the mission and it was Kathy. Rudy had been shot in a bar-room fight, shot in his spine, in his back, and was in the hospital, paralyzed from the waste down. My husband immediately drove across two states to lead Rudy to Christ Jesus in that hospital room. The next time I heard from Kathy, many years later, she was in Florida, a nanny to a doctor and his wife, caring for their five children. She had called to keep in touch and I said, Kathy, what has happened to you and Rudy? Her tears could not stop as she related how Rudy had lost one leg to infection, and then the second leg to infection, both of his legs one at a time being cut off at the hips. Rudy died in a flaming bed that had caught on fire by his cigarette, he being unable to escape the burning bed that took his life. Kathy had stepped out to go to the store. And she said, Martha, I do not know how I could have survived without the WORD of the LORD that comforts me to this day yet, knowing that I shall see Rudy again some day. Kathy and I have lost touch again, as our lives have separated and I do not to this day know where she is or what her life consists of. But I do know, that someday, in eternity, we shall all embrace again in that eternally glorified name of Christ Jesus.
GOD was not kind to Rudy for taking one of His virgin daughters from her ministry and from her place in His Kingdom where He had placed her to serve Him, first overcoming her with temptation, and then beating her, abusing her, mistreating her, using her, sinning against her time and time again, and yet she still forgave him, still loved him till the ending of his life, even forever. The love of Christ in Kathy could endure it all, never giving up hope. For is it not written, and did not the Apostle Paul say? . . . . 1st Cor. 13:1 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, (love) I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. 2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing. 3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing. 4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind: charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up. 5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; 6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; 7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. 8 Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away. 9 For we know in part, and we prophesy in part. 10 But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away. 11 When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. 12 For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known. 13 And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity. Love never fails. Love suffers and will suffer and will bear its suffering with dignity, enduring all things, hoping all things, believing not in the power of iniquity but hoping in the power of salvation.
I too, come from an alcoholic home, my Father being a slave to drink till he was 68 years old, when one morning I was blessed to lead him to Christ Jesus at his own kitchen table. My own Mother, living with this husband, working all her married life to raise her three children, had filed for divorce three times yet could not bring herself to divorce the father of her children, having wed him for better or worse, having committed herself to her marriage and her children, having herself been raised being the youngest daughter of nine brothers and sisters, by a Mother who loved Jesus Christ, her own Father also having been a drunkard, having left the farm, and his wife and nine children, casting the caring of all nine children into the hands of her Mother. I often wonder how my own Father could have reached salvation if my Mother’s love could not have endured all those years with a forgiving grace that finally melted his stony heart and healed his tormented flesh. I remember well the day I was taking him fishing when he looked across the front seat of the car at me and said, Martha, you have no idea what a burning torment and fire was taken away from me that morning in the kitchen. My father died at 74, eaten up inside from cancer in his liver, his lungs, his stomach, and his pancreas, yet he never returned to alcohol to ease his sufferings. When my Mother called me and said, Martha, come to Clearwater. Your father is in the hospital, the LORD said, Martha, take a nice dress. This is your Father’s time to see my face, and you shall bury him before you return.
As a child I never ceased to wonder how my Father made it home unharmed, always finding his way home in a drunken state of mind, watching night upon night his staggering down the street, seeing his shadow in the streetlights for blocks away, in rain, in sleet, in the summer, in the winter, in the falling snow, his small frame bringing his frail body home. I remember caring for him, cleaning up after him, hearing his sicknesses and vomitings, hearing Mama’s tears, hearing their fightings. There were many jokes concerning his antics. Daddy always swore that Mama could throw a tin can around the corner. Instead of his bringing home his pay check, one week-end he bought a banjo, which she promply broke over his head, and I remember cleaning up the blood and bandaging his head, and his crying over his banjo. My daddy did sing bass, and had a natural talent to play the piano, and the guitar, and was blessed with a musical ability that transforms the reasoning of the mind, he having but a fourth grade education.
I took a terrible beating from a girl that had spoken ill of my father’s drinking and mocking his staggering up the road. I thought I could win but I did not. I still would take that beating again, for my Mother always said, my Father is my Father, no matter what he did, or who he was. He was my Father. My honour and respect for him as my Father was instilled in my heart from a small child by my Mother. My Father only laid the whip to me one time, and then cried and said he was sorry. He was such a fragile spirit. We spent his last few years living a lifetime in them, sharing fishing, and playing horseshoes, and doing all those things that drinking had robbed him of when I was a child. My two brothers never developed the closeness that my Father and I did. But then, as a child, I was the one that was closest to his sufferings and his drinking. Perhaps so many die in the gutters and in boxes in the fields and frozen to the pavements, because there are few souls anymore like my Mother. The old days are gone. Forgiveness is but a word in this modern day world, found only in the dictionary. It is not found in the hearts of men and women, nor instilled in children, and yet it is the only way into the Kingdom of God, the only entrance, and the only door. Those who forgive are forgiven, and those who forgive not are not forgiven. Forgiveness is simply asking for forgiveness, and forgiving when asked.
I used to talk to GOD all the time when I was a child. I would climb high up in the trees, and sing to GOD, and talk to GOD, and cry all my troubles to GOD. I knew He was out there somewhere, and I wanted with all my being for GOD to just talk to me. Mom always knew where to find me, singing high up in the trees. Every extra moment I always was up high in the trees, talking and singing to GOD, in so much that I earned the nick-name of Monkey, and to the day my brother died at forty eight years of age, he still called me Monk.
When I was only ten or so, one night I was crying and so angry at alcohol, I stuck a box of matches into my pocket and walked four long blocks to the bar where my Daddy always stopped every night when he got off of the bus coming home. I thought, if that bar were just not there, Daddy would come right home. I was going to burn it down. I sat outside in the dark behind the bar for a long, long time. It never entered into my mind that people could be burned up, or even that my own Father was in that bar. I sat there in the cold, thinking, thinking, and thinking, and then I heard Him, the Voice. You cannot do this, Martha. You simply, cannot. Go home!
I prayed for GOD to take care of Daddy. I prayed for GOD to bring Daddy safely home. As a child, I never thought about my own Mother’s sufferings. I should have. I ought to have. I packed my Father’s lunch bucket every night, since the age of ten, frying his pork chops, buttering his bread, packing his cookies, and making his coffee thermos. My Mother worked the late shift so I had to do those things for my Father. I used to take him things to eat while he was down at the canal fishing. I thought if I could just make him happy, he would not drink. If I could just love him enough, he would not drink anymore, and everything would be all right if he were just happy. It never got all right. I grew up. I married and had a child of my own. And my Father’s drinking ravaged our family until he was sixty eight years old. Only the love of Christ could have given my Mother the strength to endure those forty four years of suffering till she laid my Father to rest. And she had another sorrow. She also laid my brother to rest when he was but forty eight years old, he having also become an alcoholic, and she caring for him the last ten years of his life. He was of the same tender spirit as my Father, yet he had not a forgiving wife to help him endure his own tragedies of temptation. Jesus said. Matt. 18:7 Woe unto the world because of offences! for it must needs be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh!
Woe to the world, Jesus said, for the tempter, the devil, satan is in the world, and shall cause all to enter into temptation and be tempted. Woe to the world because of this, Jesus said. Woe to those who are tempted to sin, Jesus said.
Satan does not desire that we forgive anyone their trespasses. If we forgive men their trespasses, perhaps they will repent and turn from their sins and be saved from not only their sins, but be kept from temptations themselves, sin having no more power or persuasion or passion, the passion for sin having now become a passion for righteousness.
GOD sent His only begotten Son, that we might find forgiveness for our many transgressions in the shed blood of Jesus Christ, we being born into a slavery of sin and corruption. GOD forgives us because He loves us, having first forgiven us, before we even knew that we were transgressors, He having made us a pathway to find redemption and salvation and power to overcome every temptation that we sin not, He showing that forgiveness, and its truth and reality, by sending His only Son to die on Calvary, bearing witness to that forgiving grace that was given without repentance, but is now secured and attained and gained and retained, through repentance, our repentance that brings forth righteousness, that same righteousness that bears witness to the righteousness of Christ Jesus Himself and the covenant of salvation and eternal life that is hidden in Him, and that was given to the world in Him.
How can we reject such a divine love? It is a love that transcends and covers the blackness of the tragedy of our souls, we being born into sin without consent, now having the right to consent to the salvation or new birth that is offered in Christ Jesus to all flesh, that we perish not according to our rightful birth into sin, doing away with the first birth into damnation by sin, and consenting to the second birth of eternal life by righteousness, through repentance and godly sorrow for our transgressions, who by nature could not help but indulge in, being born in them, but now by repentance cannot help but take upon also the nature of Christ Jesus, being born into Him, pure righteousness as He is righteous. Those that reject Christ, reject the gift of life, reject repentance, consent to their rightful birthright of sin and damnation. The voice of GOD, the calling to repentance, the calling to eternal life, the calling to righteousness, is poured out upon all flesh.
Chapter 1 Called And Chosen
Chapter 2 The Son Of Perdition
Chapter 3 The Elect and Election
Chapter 4 The Living Sea
Chapter 5 The Crucifixion, The Passover, The Resurrection
Chapter 6 Knowing the I Am
Chapter 7 Knowing The Voice
Chapter 8 The Burden Of The Voice
Chapter 9 The Voice Of Salvation
Chapter 10 The Voice Of Vengeance
Excerpts Taken From The Voices I Heard Written By Martha ©