The Sparrows

By Martha © 1998, Revised 2012
Book Five of Nine

Excerpts Taken From Fruits From The Tree Of Life, Book Five Of Nine
Book Found In How To Cope Books Section

I have ministered to many around the world by personal letters for decades, and in these letters are hidden tidbits of manna, and mixed in with the every day counseling and answering letters are hidden crumbs of wisdom, and hidden secrets of the scriptures, and hidden thoughts of the LORD as He ministers those things each believer needs to hear, words of comfort, and sometimes even rebukes, coming from the Spirit of Prophecy as the Holy Spirit answers troubled hearts and weary minds with a touch of the bread from heaven. This treatise is formed from bits and pieces of some of the letters that the manna from heaven might be given to all who believe. These are treasures from the Holy Spirit, pearls from the Kingdom of Christ Jesus, precious fruits from the Tree of Life.

223. On the first sin . . . . Jesus said when satan dogged His every step, Satan has nothing in Me! How satan and men alike despised the righteousness of Christ. They were always looking for evil, trying to snare Him even by every word He spoke. Now when we look for evil in another it is only because we are evil our own selves.

It is a gruesome and a long painful path we walk until we are cleansed of the ego and the flesh and the love of the world. We shall sin and sin and sin and sin and think we are never going to make it. That does not justify our failings or our sins, but to say in our defense that salvation has a great painful cost attached to it. We are like babies in a crib trying to walk in the crib. And when we get out of the crib we are as blind men, falling down the stairs, slipping in the bathtub, stepping on glass, and burning ourselves on the stove. Everything in this world is an enemy of our salvations. We do not see those things quickly enough to avoid all the pains and bruises and bleeding wounds.

John 14:30 Hereafter I will not talk much with you: for the prince of this world cometh, and hath nothing in me.

What was this nothing that satan did not have? That nothing was death! Satan had no death in Christ. There was no sin, therefore, there was no death, Christ being immortal. Therefore, satan had to slay Him, yet not he himself, for he could not. He had to have men slay Christ. For satan had death and sin in men and therefore he used them to slay Christ.

The spirit of death we suffer with causes insecurities, mistrust, suspicions, fears, all manners of sufferings. It causes us to seek after life and not simply to trust that life into the hands of He who has no death. We see this law at work in our minds, and hearts, and flesh every day, this law of fear and death, and it causes us to slaughter our own righteous faith and then trust in men and in those things around us. Some people put trust even in things and surround themselves with all manners of things, friends, husbands, people, savings, lands, houses, all and everything that would secure a safety net. Christ having not the spirit of death in Him, also had not one desire to sin. He had not one desire of rebellion. He had not one desire to give it all up. He had nothing but love for His Father and doing His will.

When we clearly understand why and how and by what avenue Adam and Eve forfeited life and took upon the spirit of death and fear, we understand how much we must overcome in order to cease sin.

Satan, having nothing in Christ, had to have something in Adam and Eve in order to cause them to sin. What was that something he had in them seeing as they were yet without sin? For they were created without sin, having come from no womanís womb, nor any manís seed. Satan had that word, THOU SHALT NOT! That is all satan had in Adam and Eve, that accusation against GODís Word saying, Why shouldnít you? Is GOD not the unjust one to not allow this thing? Is not GOD denying you? Surely you will not die!

I donít know if you are ready for this one or not, but Eveís sin was sleeping with the beast, having intercourse with the beast. The beast was both male and female, and was also one of the most beautiful of beasts in the garden that GOD had made. He walked upright as a man and was a beautiful creation. And here is this creature to the eyes of Eve that appeared to be just as Adam had said he was before GOD had divided her from his very body. So then, the beast entered into Eveís womb and produced the first murderer, Cain, by the spirit, of the which Jesus said, satan was a liar and a murderer from the very beginning. To do this satan had to also defile Adamís seed or sperm, and so Adam committed the first homosexual act and Eve the first whoredom, she also having committed a homosexual act with the beast, the beast being both male and female. Now the scriptures said that Eve ate of the forbidden fruit and then gave the fruit to Adam who was with her. Now, Adam was with Eve when Eve committed this act with the beast. If it were not written that Adam was with her, we could hope that where it was written that Eve gave the fruit to Adam, she under the normal transference of spirits would have transferred the beast to Adam without his knowledge in laying with him. But it does not say this is what happened, but all the more says that Adam also committed lewdness with the beast. I would believe Adam innocent and guilty by receiving the spirit of the beast from Eve if it were not written, Adam was present with Eve. For Adam said, Eve gave this to me.

So then, Jesus, being born without the seed of man, being incarnated by the Spirit into Maryís womb, was born without the spirit of sin and death though born of a woman. For the life force of the male was not the life force of flesh that begat Jesus, but He was begotten of the life force of the Spirit of GOD.

Adam and Eve covered their sexual organs having defiled themselves. The spirit of fear and death entered them through evil intercoursing with the beast in the garden, passing the sentence of death upon all who do such things from the beginning to the ending of time, GOD saying to the beast, on your belly shall you go and shall eat dust all the days of our life. It is an abomination and all who partake of such things shall go the way of damnation. The scriptures say one joins the body to satan when joining the body in whoredom.

When we receive Christ and are baptized and have repented, we are clean, created in Christ instantly as Adam and Eve were, clean. When we are baptized, we can immediately say, as Jesus said, satan has nothing in me. So satan therefore, must begin all over again with us to cause us to again take in and upon ourselves this spirit of death. Jesus said to His apostles, now are you all clean through the words I have spoken to you, but not all of you. One remains unclean. One retained a devil. For the single and only commandment given to the Gentile was, Abstain from fornication! The very commandment that was given to Adam and Eve was again given to the Gentile, to avoid fornication let every man have a wife and every woman a husband, only one commandment, for all the others kept and that one disobeyed still damns. Are you listening?

With a world that is becoming the living beast with adulteries and fornications and immoralities that even the devil does not think of, Revelation says beast over and over and over again, to not have the image of the beast, or his name, or the mark even of his name upon us.

You must understand that it was not passion that caused Adam and Eve to do such a horrible sin and so horrible that death and sin and destruction and sickness and disease was passed down unto all men, it was the Word of GOD that said, Thou shalt not. What GOD meant for their good actually became their downfall. Consider all the babies born from immoralities, and from abominations, and these babies are born unclean, being filled with the beast from the womb. And decade after decade after decade do we see the beast taking up the sword of abominations and slaying millions and millions of souls through these abominations of the flesh.

Romans says that the law revives sin and makes the flesh aflame with its rebellions. All men have heard that smoking causes cancer, causes death. It is not that knowledge or that law that causes the cancer, smoking does. The law could say, Thou shalt not smoke, or else, but it does not. That is what the law says in truth though and men disobey it anyway. Somehow they think they shall escape the truth of the law. GOD was saying, Do not do this thing or, . . .but Adam and Eve did it anyway. The very thing the law tries to avoid actually gives it its power.

So we see that Christ not only had no rebellion, He loved righteousness. Where did this come from? Or do you think they are one and the same thing? And if His righteousness and His Spirit are given to us, we ought to also be as He. In Isaiah it says that Christ had the fear of GOD and a quick understanding. Christ through this fear had a quick understanding of the consequences of sin. He simply believed the Word of GOD from a small child.

When and if we sin, we simply do not believe the Word of GOD. Men smoke because they simply do not believe the truth till the truth causes them cancer and death. Men do not believe the Word and it brings sin and death. Those that overcome sin and the world simply believe GOD.

Adam nor Eve believed GOD would do what He said He would do. And it was not that they did not believe that GOD would not do what He said He would do. He said, You shall not eat of that tree. In the day you eat of the forbidden fruit you shall die. He was simply saying, Donít smoke. Donít do this thing. It shall kill you. It was the tree of the knowledge of evil. Do you not understand that? They were lulled as the masses now that GOD loves us and would do no such thing to us. GOD does not do it to us. He warns us. We do it to our own selves. We bring these things upon our own selves.

GOD does not forgive sin. GOD judges sin. GOD judged all sin in Christ and gave Christ, taking upon His own self the responsibility of the law itself that said, In the day you eat of it, you shall die. GOD judged our sins in Christ. It is not that they have not been judged. They are and were judged in Christ. He paid the penalty. If we sin in Christ, we have nothing to look for except the judgment of that sin, just as Adam and Eve had nothing to look for except the judgment of their sin. That is the understanding Christ had that caused Him to be sinless and commit no sin against GODís Word. We must come to that understanding also, in order to slay our sin for every day we must slay our sin, every day dying to sin and living to righteousness.

If we believe, why do we sin? Because we do not believe we shall pay a penalty for it! We believe a lie, and love the lie that says, Surely you shall not die! It all comes back to motive. Why did we come to Christ in the first place? Was it to be forgiven or cleansed?

If it is only to be forgiven, we shall sin and sin and sin and never cease but shall perish in our sins. If it is to be cleansed, we shall cease our sins through a crucifying of our desires and passions and every day cleanse ourselves, walking in a spirit of understanding and repentance, coupled with fear. We have been awakened to righteousness. Righteousness bears no penalties of sin, nor does it bear death!

If we could sin and sin and sin and still be continually forgiven, Christ was sacrificed in vain, for nothing, for that is what the law did, forgive and forgive and forgive.

If GOD graciously allowed you a falling and judged it not with judgment or affliction, that is the gracious GOD we serve. In Romans it says He will show mercy to whom He will show mercy and judgment to whom He shall give judgment. He will grant mercy when He desires, and judge another for less. It is all in His mercy to do whatsoever pleases Him. And does He not always have time to issue a judgment if His mind is changed and He decides mercy had no fruit and then issues judgment? If we continue to fall, and then again and again, it only proves we have never repented in the first place and proves how little we love GOD.

Somehow when we sin and get judged, we think we are paying for our crime somehow, the right to sin somehow, like a man going to prison for ten years for thievery. He comes out angry and judgmental if you do not want to hire him through mistrust, because his boast is, I paid for my crime and served my time. Get off my back. His going to prison, his serving his time, did not change him. He is still that same man. And he shall again do what he did and shall again go to prison and with each act become hardened in his crimes, they multiplying and multiplying.

Christ shall say to you and me, I was crucified once for that sin. It was forgiven. Now what do we do with it seeing it continues? I was not crucified over and over and over for sin, but once. Therefore, the sin is done and gone. Why isnít it? Can you bring Christ down and crucify Him again to be forgiven? What? In the old testament every time a man sinned, there was a sacrifice, sin and sacrifice, sin and another sacrifice. A sacrifice covered one forgiveness. It did not cover and cover and cover. A man did not go once a year and shed a goat for the sins of a year and go sin a year and go again next year. It was one sacrifice for one sin. So in Christ, one sacrifice for cleansing. Then what? Hebrews says, after that, judgment.

Even Jesus says, if a man sins against you, rebuke him for it, and if he repents, forgive him. Even GOD rebukes us for sin, and if we repent, He forgives us. But to knowingly sin, knowingly transgress, we then become again a transgressor of the law, and where-in is our sacrifice seeing as we have used it up? GOD rebuked the whole earth for sin when He offered up Christ. GOD showed up man to be the exceedingly sinful creature that he is in Christís death. In Christís death GOD rebuked the world as well as offer it redemption. Since in Christ the earth itself is purged from sin, what is the problem? Why at its ending is it more wicked than at its beginning? Because the earth is still loving fornicating with the beast. The earth loves immoralities. The earth lusts for the sensuality of its private parts. The earth shuns righteousness and loves evil.

The women as at the beginning, are now more wicked than the men. Men never have a problem finding women to fornicate with. Men never have to anymore go to houses of prostitution because the whole world is a red-light district. It cloaks itself in mothers and providers and righteous tongues and a thousand other things, yet is it the same old evil thing that laid down the earth in the beginning of time in death.

In the old testament sacrifices for sin did not eliminate judgment, and it says in the scriptures that GOD changes not but is the same yesterday, today, and forever. The only salvation that is offered to escape damnation is the righteousness that is in Christ. If a man seeks it, finds it, eats and drinks of it, partakes of it, becomes one with it, he shall be saved. Otherwise Christ profits him nothing if he does not cease his sins.

In Christ is sin all the more judged. The scriptures say that GOD judges our transgressions so He does not have to damn us with the world. We who are saved have the privilege of judgment, and not only right and privilege but welcome it, realizing it is a fruit of our salvation for GOD to scourge us for sin that we perish not. For it is written that those GOD loves He scourges. Sometimes I ask Him not to love me so much! I have learned to hear the whip crack the air before it is raised that I might not feel its lash quite so heavily. Whatíre you about to say, LORD? I hear it! Iíll do it! Iíll quit it. Iíll change! I am so quick to hit the dirt and fall on my knees that hell is rumbling all the time and the devil says, Thereís that Martha again! Gottaí get that Martha. Hell hates to hear the children of the LORDís repentive knees thumping the earth like beating drums.

Every time a man goes to prison for thievery, if he lost a finger, then two fingers, then three, then a hand, then a foot, then an eye, he would eventually say, this is not worth it. Judgment is supposed to be severe enough to rehabilitate. We do not rehabilitate prisoners. We supply everything for them to continue on in their paths of damnation.

To judge the guilty, GOD has a biblical pattern of smiting the innocent to save the guilty, to strike that thing or those people men love the most. The LORD made a vow to me that if I serve Him, he would not fail to save my husband and my son. Since then, they both are lost to me but not to Him. Likewise, if I would not serve Him but continued on in sin and walked my own path and way, he would not be obligated to keep His vow to me. The keeping of GODís vows to man depends upon manís vows being kept unto GOD.

You must remember that GOD did not strike David when he committed adultery but struck the child dead. GOD could not have a bastard son sit on the throne of Israel. However he still bore sons from Bathsheba that did. GOD made his point quite vivid about striking the innocent. GOD also slayed all the firstborn of Pharoahís nation including Pharoahís son when He delivered Israel from bondage.

Satan lay in wait for many centuries before he slayed all the firstborn two years and under in Israel by the sword of Herod when he wanted to make sure the Christ-child was slaikn, mocking GOD that he too had that power on this earth. Satan was saying to GOD, donít mess with me! But GOD did anyway and shall again.

Sin entered into the world by the immorality of a woman. Under the old testament law the woman was slain and the child also, even while yet in her womb. No bastard child was allowed to live. In Christ according to Timothy, women are forgiven childbearing out of wedlock if they lay down their lives to Christ and the brethren and serve the gospel all the days of their lives, and the children live as well.

Since we are still serving a GOD that sees that Christ did not remove immorality and sin from the earth but that it ever abounds and is running wild, and not only that but men have all the more mocked GOD in their immoralities and running after prostitutes and the women of the streets, the fires and breath of GOD I can feel and every tornado and lightning bolt should make men and women fall on their faces and repent to a GOD that is angry and full of vengeance. When you look at the world under the wraths and judgments of GOD, you wonder why knees are not thumping hell open all over the world in repentance as they fall to the earth.

GOD destroyed whole cities for homosexuality and preachers preach this abundantly but they omit the rest of the scriptures that say, this is the sin of Sodom and Gomorraha, fulness of bread, idleness, nor did they feed the hungry and the poor. These were her sins that caused GOD to destroy her, gluttony, oppressions, riches, and the cries of the poor being unheard. Men would no longer labour but were lazy, fat, oppressive, and whoremongers.

There shall be a lot of times you will hate me for the sword of truth that I bear. Thatís all right. I understand that. I know all too well how to preach things you want to hear and they would enslave you and not free you from anything. That would damn you and me as well. The scribes and pharisees didnít make it. Neither did all those who were in their congregations. The scribes and pharisees still arenít going to make it, and neither are their congregations. For as Jesus said concerning them, your father is the devil.

224. On the ministry of helps . . . . .I attempted suicide long into my ministry. Slowly over many heartbreaks and tragedies both personal and not personal, my spirit became overwhelmed, totally, and as I remember slashing my legs, ready to slash my wrists also, cursing GOD, an angel grabbed my wrists and spoke loudly, and said, That is enough, Martha. I had consumed a bottle of darvons, and a quart of 100% bourbon, and had gone outside and had thrown myself down the mountainside, and I mean mountain. It was wintertime and the berry bushes were without leaves yet covered with thorns, and the mountainside full of rocks, and it was a long, long way down. I found myself alive at the bottom after many hours and had clawed my way to the top and proceeded to start slashing my body. I was angry I had not died. I was bitter, and angry, and consumed with pain. When one of the sisters found me hiding in the closet, I would not get medical help for my wounds, and of course without stitches, there are scars on my legs.

What was I slashing at? GOD? my husband? what? I now look on the blessed scars of suicide. I could not bear the losses. I could not. When I came to my senses and I did come to my senses, I realized GOD was not going to change my situation. Did I think I could make Him know how desperate I was by such an action? or make others know? or hate my husband and was going to show that hatred so he would feel guilty at long last? GOD was not going to change my husbandís mind about leaving me. My husband was not going to believe even after declaring he did believe. He became a liar to the faith. He married me under a pretense and a lie that he did believe, and the scriptures say if the unbeliever leaves, the believer is no longer bound. That was no comfort. I did not want unbound. GOD was simply not going to do anything about a lot of things that were happening to me and in my life. He caused them to happen, or allowed them to happen. It was all a part of this great pruning process of loss for Jesus said, When you bear fruit, GOD prunes you so that you will bear even more fruit. Pruning hurts. Sometimes one wound is not even healed till one gets pruned of something or someone else. So, since then, I have been able to bear prunings, bear losses, bear rejections, bear persecutions, bear hatreds, bear all things knowing that these things are in GODís hand, and nothing can pluck me out of that hand. One cannot follow after those things that get pruned away.

We all must bear our crosses every day, and all must also go through Gethsemane, and also be hoisted upon a cross to die, before becoming resurrected in that new life of the Spirit and power, and righteousness.

Salvation brings a spiritual battle. Anointings and callings bring spiritual battles, and the greater the anointing, the greater the battles, and the greater the calling, the greater the battles. When the Holy Spirit truly clasps us in His hand, we do not get free till we are free from all unrighteousness and formed into the image of Christ. Then are we set free from the sufferings of prunings after all is pruned away, and we are able then to be a faithful minister of helps to those who are going through the fiery trials of prunings.

When you are ministering helps to someone, the ministry of helps being very important in the body of Christ, it being a great calling, for it takes patience, and meekness, and tenderness, and compassion, and time, much time, you must remember first to discern the physical need. For if a man is dying on the desert without food or water and men run up to him and hand him tracks and say, This is what you need. Read this first and then we will get you some water! How horrendous! How hateful and unloving. Jesus first provided the physical, first healing, and deliverance, and He was concerned with provision. First one must minister the carnal and then the spiritual, neglecting nothing. Many churches gather for a supper and then go out and pass out tracks. My, oh my, oh my!

Most are filled with the carnal, overflowing with the carnal things of this world, and are too full and overful with the physical things of this world, and they are empty souls and hurting souls because of having all things and they being so surprisingly painful and insufficient, and these are ready for the spiritual. They have all the carnal necessities and so minister the spiritual. But those who have need in the carnal must first receive the compassionate love of Christ for their carnal necessities.

Faith did not hold up Mosesí arms in battle. Someone had to hold them up for him. Christ fell under His cross. Someone had to pick it up and carry it for Him. These are the anointed that fell. Their battles are severe, and their victories are glorious, are they not?

When a woman is in labour, you donít tell her to shut up, to quit her yelling. It is not possible. That baby must get out of there. Then she will cease her hurting and yelling. You cannot do anything to help her except listen to her yelling and comfort her by your presence and prayers. She has to bear the child. You cannot bear it for her. You can however, let her bear the child and put no additional demands upon her, none.

Nothing can eliminate the love of life like sickness and pain. When we are sick or in pain, that is all that we feel, our own pains. Nothing else even matters except that pain, and it consumes us, body, soul and spirit. I remember having gone through seven surgeries, and at the foot of my bed upon awakening from every one was the silent, smiling, joyful face of my mother. No husband was there, no brethren, no brother or father, or son even, but my mother. She simply bathed my fevered brow silently, washed the vomit from my face, and emptied my cup, and let me sip cool water through a straw. She did not need to say a word. She ministered the love of Christ to me. She ministered necessity. I would keep falling asleep and upon waking up, there was her hand, and there was her face, right next to me. And as I felt better, she would bring friends, and flowers, and cards, and neighbours, and my brother and my father. Such ministry! No tongue can tell anyone the need at that time and place of pain and sickness.

I myself was so afflicted when she went to be with the LORD at eighty four years of age on Oct. 22, 1996, 6:30 p.m., I could not be there but was crying myself and praying myself for her and for myself three states away from her, both of us on beds of affliction. She died without the same love that she had given to me so many times, in a hospital alone, no son, no daughter, no husband, just Jesus! How I just wanted to hold her as she died. I just wanted to be there. That will crush my heart as long as I live, till I weep on her lap at the throne of Jesus some day, just like when I got saved at twenty four she being the first one upon whose lap I wept in seeking forgiveness for the many hurts, sins and pains I had caused her over the years. I tell you, pruning sometimes crushes the heart and wounds the spirit and crucifies the flesh like a sword of death. There is no healing for prunings. Prunings are a cutting away. And they leave scars.

The healthy in Christ and the strong in Christ and the strong in faith in Christ, are all offenses to the weak so filled with pain and doubts and fears and especially are like thorns under the skin making them feel even more isolated in their sufferings without any help. You are asked how you feel and when you reply concerning all the sufferings and poverty's and pains, and troubles, you are accused by many things, by their words of. . .Where is your faith? Everything shall be all right. Just have faith. I know everything will work out all right. GOD will not fail you! And the worst one yet, Iím praying for you! How that stings! They see I have no bread, and no water, and my electric is disconnected and my phone taken out and my water turned off and they say, Iím praying for you! They are hornets! GOD will not fail you? GOD uses His body to do His works in this earth and to minister His love in this world. Who is the body of GOD? and where are they? and why are they not doing the works of His body? When they do not, when we do not, the naked are not clothed, the sick not healed, the devils not cast, the hungry not fed, and poor not given shelter, and those in prison left in darkness.

Which one of us wants the hand dealt to us? Which one of us does not want to cheat, or cheat and deal ourselves an ace from the bottom of the deck? Which one of us does not think we are dealt a hand unfair and that we have been cheated?

When I tried to commit suicide, it was not everything else that was out of control, it was me. For all things have since resolved themselves and many new things came and then went by the wayside, and now there are other things, and every day there is change and there is sorrow and there are disappointments and failures and battles and victories and more than everything else at the ending of each day I have survived both physically and spiritually, and when I no longer survive my physical battles, yet do I remain spiritually the victor, having come all the way to the ending with my cross to offer to the LORD as having been carried all the way to the ending.

The physical scars on my body are nothing compared to the spiritual scars on my soul from the pruning hand of GOD, nor can they compare to the scars on my heart from the cuttings of friends, brethren, and loved ones. There is a day of reckoning. You can count on it! For Jesus said, Whatsoever you do to the least of these, my brethren, you do unto Me. It is Jesus who died for me. It is Jesus who bore my sins on Calvary. And it is this same Jesus that is wounded, striped, cursed, spit upon, hated, rejected, beaten and crucified in me. What he bore, I bear. What He suffered, I suffer. They have done these things to Him. They have not forsaken me, but Him. They have not cursed me, but Him. They have not done evil to me, but to Him. All who bear the fruits of the Tree of Life shall walk in His shoes and enter into every single one of His sufferings. Where are the ministers that will minister healing to the wounded ones, the cut ones, the pruned ones, the forsaken ones, the broken ones, the separated ones, the rejected ones, the cursed ones, the cast away ones, the ones counted as the off scouring of this world, those accounted as dung under the feet and a stench in the nostrils? Where are the ministers of the anointed? Where are those that must minister the helps? the necessities? the water, the food, the shelter?

They are passing out booklets to the poor saying, Go with GOD. GOD will take care of you!

225. On gain . . . . . . Monetary gain is never the purpose of a true saint of GOD in serving Christ. When Jesus called His apostles, it was a calling to lay down everything of the flesh and the world and to take up the cross, follow, and lay down their lives to the brethren. I know of few who actually lay down their lives to those GOD puts under them and around them and beside them. We even are laying down our very lives to Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, Peter, Paul, Moses, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Daniel, Isaiah, Micah, Jeremiah, Ezekiel, all the prophets and saints of the scriptures, those past, present and future. The simplicity that is in Christ and his life and His works and His love and His sacrifice is lost in striving for the gains of this world. We see multitudes every day spinning on out into eternity leaving vast wealth and fame behind, yet perishing. What did gaining the world profit them when at death their souls perished? What did their world-wide fame profit them when they died in their sins without Christ?

Labouring for love and labouring for gain are two opposing forces. You cannot mix love with gain or gain with love. One either labours for gain without love, or labours for love without gain. Since labouring for Christ is labouring in a spiritual kingdom, all gain, all reward, and all wages come back from that same spiritual kingdom, not from a carnal kingdom. The greatest heartbreak you will experience is expecting it to come from men, especially from those you love who you desire so much to receive you, whose love you want so badly, and whose approval we secretly labour for.

Those on this earth who are truly of Christís Kingdom, Christ will use to return spiritual gains back unto, and even carnal gains back unto His servants. And I am speaking not so much about gain, but about necessities, for the scriptures say, My GOD shall supply all your needs in Christ Jesus, not wants, but needs. GOD shall give to us from all and every source, for His love never ceases toward us who labour without ceasing in His Kingdom, and every labourer is entitled to glean the grapes and pick the wheat and corn off of the ground when it falls. But we do not go into anotherís house or anotherís kingdom and help ourselves to whatever is there, no matter how rich the master of the house is. We take what is given and offered, gratefully and without complaining that others are given more and labour less.

We must always be reminded of our LORDís life, how that His own family persecuted him, His own brethren rejected Him and one of His own apostles betrayed him. We also must be reminded that His own people crucified Him and used also the heathen to do their horrible crimes of molestings, beatings, and to murder this holy one, Jesus. So our enemies are those of our own households, and our brethren, even all men, because satan has blinded the multitudes that they perish and are saved not from their unbelief. Certainly it is the Gentiles that knew not what they were doing when they molested and crucified Christ. Possibly Jesus was not praying for Israelís forgiveness but for the forgiveness of the Gentiles who without knowledge slayed the Son of GOD.

I ask you to labour in the Kingdom of GOD not for gain, nor for praise, nor for acceptance, not from men or this world, even as I do. Yet even as we do, deeply in us is this desire to be carnal, to be human, to love and be loved, and it is a human trait that must be daily crucified over and over again.

We are free from all things except our own selves. As long as we are in the flesh we have to deal with this other person in us that is continually fighting us for the lordship over our own selves. It is called the ego, the pride, the spirit of man, the part of us that is always restless and impatient and critical and full of demands. How to throw it up or out, we cannot. It is GODís tool of teaching, like as with Job, using it to scourge us and to discipline us and to correct us and to create Himself in us.

Jesus said a perfect servant or a righteous servant will do all he can do and yet he will still say, Wretched unworthy servant I am. We just never feel we have done enough but could have done more. A righteous man suffers with every thought and every day and with every effort, because his flesh never slumbers nor sleeps but torments him demanding its way, defying crucifying, demanding satisfaction, arrogant in all of its passions, and the more it is disciplined the more angry it becomes, till one almost feels as though they hate everyone and everything and love no one or anything, not even GOD. It is really their own defiant, arrogant, self-willed, unclean flesh they are despising. Therefore, we must realize that we are not that unclean flesh, but are that inward perfection of the love of GOD and the love of righteousness, and the more we love GOD and righteousness the more we will despise our own uncleannesses.

We must beware lest it make us despise others also and thwart our own efforts at preaching and ministering the gospel. You see a lot of preachers today that let this hatred toward their own selves become a rod of fire and brimstone and damnation against everyone until they are profitless servants of Christ, being miserably saved themselves, appearing to be haters of all men.

We every day must deal first with our own rebellions and our own flesh, and then hopefully minister effectively to others. I truly have no enemy except my own self.


221. On testings
222. On all things are possible
223. On the first sin
224. On the ministry of helps
225. On gain
226. On faith and love
227. On music
228. On eternal security
229. On repentance
230. On understanding
231. On discontentment
232. On fear of men
233. On the new wine
234. On the Father
235. On disobedience
236. On the new name
237. On the hidden new wine
238. On the overcomers
239. On bad, bad trees
240. On the goats
241. On bearing the cross
242. On I am sorry
243. On mistrust
244. On the higher ground
245. To a meddler and a busybody
246. On submission
247. On the suffering of the innocent

Excerpts Taken From Fruits From The Tree Of Life, Book Five Of Nine
Written By Martha ©